Sometimes...

I dont know what to call this... some terrible feelings all around... some strange thoughts running around.. Am i in a right place???? i wondered many times....i dont know...

But all that i know is my God wont betray me.. am sure... for am not so bad...

Shravya was always saying this to herself... she said it many a times when things were not under her control.. When she could do nothing about things... When she was feeling helpless about the whole situation where she was in...

But she always said , for all that - i know my God wont betray me.. am sure... for am not so bad...

During all this awful times she used to read... read a lot .. some philosophies of life, some good thoughts to boost up.. some consoling words from her dear ones...All she wanted was a bit more attention a bit more considertion...

It was a friday evening... Didi... she came running up to me..I was surprised.. seeing her bit tensed... bit disturbed... She read out her thoughts on to me... her hautning thoughts...All i could do is pat at her back.. give a big hug.. make her feel little light...

A while later, I took out a book and gave it to her...She silently read...

Her eyes wide open... an eagerness in knowing things... A thurst for some words which would make her feel good.. As she read - Here it goes...

I understood that - Dont compare anyone in this world with YourSelf..If you are Comparing your insulting yourself.

I understood that - No one will Manufacture a lock without a key.In the same way God wont give problems without solutions.

I understood that - Life laughs at you when you are unhappy..Life Smiles at you when you are happy...Life Salutes you when you make others happy.

I understood that - Every successful person had painful story.Every painful story has a successful ending.

I understood that - We should accept tht pain and get ready for success.

I understood that - Easy is to judge the mistakes of others..Difficult is to recoznise our own mistakes.

I understood that - It's easier to protect your feet with slippers Than to cover the earth with carpet.

I understood that - No one can go back and change a bad beginning , But anyone can start now and create a successful ending...

I understood that - if a problem can be solved no need to worry about it.. If a problem can not be solved what is the use of worrying

I understood that - If you miss the oportunity don't fill the eyes with tears.It will hide another better opportunity in front of you.

I understood that - Changing the face can change nothing. Buut Facing the change can change evrything.

I understood that - Don't complain about others;Change yourself if you want peace.

I understood that - Mistakes are painful when they happen . But years later collection of mistakes is called experience, which leads to success.

I understood that - Be bold when you loose and be calm when you win.

I understood that - Heated gold becomes ornament.Beaten copper becomes wires.Depleted stone becomes statue.So the more pain you get in life you become more valuables

As sharavya finished reading, she was feeling more relaxed... lil more comfortable...

She held me tight and told..."What is Life without these obstacles without these problems" isint it Didi....

I smiled and said... its all correct... :)

On a cloudy day

It was a cloudy day... dark all-around
I was in a hurry to get into the cab...
Walking towards my cab realized that it was raining heavily...

Somehow managed to get into the cab. Found a seat for myself... was kind of settled...
Looking outside the window I had played my memories on...

A while later a guy rushed into the cab.
Helloooooo he shouted..
Few People nearby said helllo to him as well..
Does this goes to Naydaalli ? he asked -
I looked in as to who this was???
What was that Alok??? Somebody sitting at the back asked him.
He was silent and confused as to what to say.
Laughing at him his friends said arree Alok its not naydahalli its nayandahalli..

Nayanda Halli... he repated... somehow with great difficulty...
Kya kya naam rakhte hey yaar..he was murmuring... his friends were smiling...
Again he asked does this go to Nayanda HAlli???
They said YES Alok.. jayega... don’t worry...

Arre let me know once am near to that yaar he said...with a smile on his face...

I was listening to their conversation... they were sitting right before me...
Was enjoying although ... :)

People find hard to spell some words... it reminded me how tough once I used to feel to pronounce it...hmmm good old days...

I had my seminar today... And pata hey i could excel on it...
I got “A” Grade Alok said to one of his friends...

He was happy,... jumping with Joy ...

His friend asked him "What was your salary Alok?
He instantly said 8950/-

Cheerfully and very spontaneously it came out... no hassles at all..
Alok was a Fresher.. He was from the 2007 passed out batch.

I remembered how once I had told to one of my friends for the first time I had taken up a professional job... :)
All memories flashed in front of my eyes...

He was always telling about his project, things that he finds difficult to do... many more like that...
I could co-relate certain things..
How once i used to bug my sis n friends... tell them all about office n things like that...

When i knew nothing about what a professional Life is all about... and now how i have grown with the passing years...
Things have still not changed rather I could say… :)

Arre... Nayandahalli aanese batadena.. he shouted to his friends again...
One among his friends asked him to inform the cab driver to give a stop near that place..

He did the same... and was again on with his stories on the project / manager/ his life style...

One of his friends asked alok" so what are u going to do with the salary u got??
He smiled and said.. i am meeting my friends today.. he he he...
And the remaining i would want to buy something’s to my mom dad n other relatives...
Papa ne kaha hey.. he said and smiled…

Listening to his conversation made me recall, how i had spent when i got my first salary.. :)
it brought a smile onto my face ...

Nayandhalli.. The cab driver shouted... I don’t know if I spelled it right… :)

Byeeeeee.. tho kal miltehey... Alok waved at all his friends and got down from the cab..

As Alok left the cab... i was again on with my memories...
Waiting to get back home... looking at the wet grounds caused by rain... peeping through the window for something interesting again...

It was my stop... i got down from my cab...slowly walked towards my home...

Well...memories are always memorable....

What would i do... without you....

Mamma... She wishpered... she could find silence all around...
Miss u mamma....Miss u so much..

I know how much i had troubled u..knowingly or unknowingly how much i would have hurt u...

And now when i could realise its too late.. i could not replace those time with the one i would have done some years back...

No.. all is gone now...passed days... passed life.. how could i ever get it back...

she wondered... closing her eys she try to listened to a vocie...

There was no answer... nothing from her inner heart...
tears ran out of her eyes...

god was the next call.. i... i couldn't do it... i was...

she struggled even to speak...words were also not in favour of her...
Everytime she used to wonder- wonder if she could ever relive all those days which she wanted to ... give those good time to her mommy ...

She was in her kitchen...cooking dont know what.. strange thoughts kept haunting her...
There was no one to even help her... her roomie never bothered to atleast speak to her...

The little soul of hers was hurt.. there was no one this time.. not even her roomie... she was all alone...

mamma...she said... how i used to trouble u... asking u to cook for me whenever i was hungry... never ever bothered to know if u were ever tired..
Of all the odd times i had troubld u for...Am not happy now mamma....
...and i know how it is to do things any thing for that matter when ur not in mood...

Though i remember... i recall my days... when i was with u... singing and dancing all around...roaming with my friends.Never bothered to help u in any of the things u do... nothing at all.
u were always there ... not saying anything... rather fulfilling everything i had asked u for...

Sorry mammma.... that was a loud call...with her wet eys she sat in the kitchen... she couldnt resist...

of all she was alone... all alone in her little room...

LIFE !!!

Every day its a new day thats the way the life goes...

U happen to meet people slowly get close to them... but before u realise u've got close to them the time comes to part... to say a long goodbye...

thats the way the life goes....

Sometimes people come into ur life & u know right away that they were meant to be there to serve some part of purpose,teach u a lesson or help figure out who u r or who u want to be...

U never know who these people may be but U lock eyes with them ..

U know that very moment that they'll affect ur life in some profound way & sometimes things happen to u at the time that may seem horrible,painful & unfair,but in reflection u realize that without overcoming those obstacles u w'd never realize ur potential, strength ,will power or heart.

Everything happens 4 a reason...nothing happens by chance or by means of luck.

Illness,love lost moments of true greatness & sheer stupidity all occur to test limits of ur soul,Without these small tests life w'd be like a smooth paved,straight,flat road nowhere safe & uncomfortable but dull & utterly pointless.

The people u meet affect ur life.

The successes & downfalls that u experience can create whom u r & the bad experiences can be learned from. believe in yourself, Create ur own life & then go out & live it.

While writing this blog i recollect how some years back i used to write up in a book and capture all my memories... and now how things have changed... :)

Lot of things to cherish upon as days pass on... many to sit back n smile saying gone are those days which is never gonna come back...

Every day its a new day thats the way the life goes...